Ouch, it always hurtsĀ 

 Logan had her 18 month well check today. Along with her weight/height/head circumference, a shot was involved. We all hate the shots, Logan hates it because it hurts and the rest of us hate it because Logan hurts. I think this shot I felt the worst with. When we entered the doctors office both kids were screaming (from memory of their last visit where shots were involved). Leo was screaming the loudest in fear of what was going on with Logan. I could see his mind turning, “dada why are they wrapping that thing around her head?” 
Once I let him out of the stroller, I believe he felt a little more in control and it eased his empathy pains for his sibling. Logan warmed up to the Doctor and even giggled a few times when the Doctor touched her stomach. As funny and talkative as Logan is on camera, she takes a long time to open up to people (which we’re totally fine with). At the end of the appointment the doctor let me know she needed one more vaccine to finish up until she is 4. I said yes let’s go ahead and get it done. Leo went out of the room with Mama, and I saw the fear arise from her eyes.  I told her exactly what was going to happen, and that it would be okay. We cuddled for a minute and then the nurse came in. Approximately 3 minutes after her shot, her red face was okay again and she was running around the waiting room.  Leo was making friends with a little girl and Logan was reading a book with Mama, all was back to normal. 

    
 

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Circle of LifeĀ 

My Grandpa died today 01/19/2016. I’m sure by the time I post this it will be tomorrow, I’ve been fumbling around in my brain about what to write. We visited him in December a few days before he was admitted to the hospital. The kiddos ran around his giant house and played with his TV remote. He told us about coming to California from the Ozarks. He also told us he was not afraid to die, that he had lived a good life, he knew he was 84 and had lots of medical issues. Some of my favorite memories of him are during the summers when he would take us for rides in his and my grandmas T-bird. They would put the top down and we would just go for a ride. My Grandpa was a farmer, my Dad was a farmer and I just always thought as a kid that’s what I would grow up to be. The thought of farming with them makes me happy, still to this day. He worked hard, and I believed that is how everyone works. We should all do the right thing and work hard to provide for our families. 

On our visit he told us how awesome it was that Anne was pursueing her dream of becoming a doctor. That he was proud of us. He always tells us to travel, I believe a love he got from Grandma Pat who died 2 years prior. I remember a funny conversation with both of them long before I was married. My grandma asked, “have you told your dad you are gay?” I said, “no should I?” She told me, “yes, he’s your dad he will still love you.” Grandpa said, “no leave your dad alone, of course he still loves you and I’m sure he already knows.” 

I’ve dealt with a lot of unexpected death in the last few years, but this one was expected. I knew when I saw him, there was a good chance it would be the last time. Sometimes you never get that opportunity. We all gave him a hug as we left. So Grandpa Bob, I love you and thank you for all the memories.  

 

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